Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize