why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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