apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize