I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
