I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
