...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
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I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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