If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
