you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
