Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize