Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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