Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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