i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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