At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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