if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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