It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
