I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
