It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
