yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
