she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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