I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
