She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
