she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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