I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
