I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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