He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
