he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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