She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I have post one night stand depression
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
