then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize