The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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