GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
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Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
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On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
sex in a hospital.. check
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize