Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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