1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Sober January is a disaster.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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