did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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