YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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