That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
