you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
