Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
