She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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