my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
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I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
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It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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