thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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