Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
