We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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