He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
