I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
