He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
