love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
