Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You took a bar mat shot.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
