STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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