So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
