Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
