Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize