this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize