Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
