Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
