and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
