it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
