I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
