Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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