i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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